Finally figured it out

The NikePlus, that is. I had two runs disappear into the ether before I could get one on my NikePlus account to stick! But, here’s the big winner, from this morning:

I ran a 5k in under 35 minutes! I felt really good until about the last 1/2 mile, which was this long steady incline and just killed me. Luckily there’d been some downhill parts earlier in the run, so I think my pace averaged out pretty well. I hope I can match that pace at the race next week. I’ve never had to run in a crowd, so I don’t know how that’ll go… for those of you that run races, do you find that slows you down? I also know that I’m not going to be anywhere near the front of the pack off the start, so that’ll add some time/distance to the total. We’ll see. At least I know I can do it!

If I can just rant for a moment. I know that lots of us with weight issues have complicated relationships with family members about our weight. For me it’s my mom. She has a naturally slender build and just never ate a lot while I was growing up (I think she had a disordered relationship with food, which I’m sure had an effect but I don’t fully grasp it). She had 4 kids in 10 years and is to this day a size 4/6. She was never able to understand why losing weight was difficult for my father (whose build I got) and me. She would say things like “it’s just calories in versus calories out, eat less, what’s so hard about that?”

I remember her making comments about my size when I was in junior high and high school – when I never weighed more than about 155 lbs.  I was always on the high end of healthy weight for my height, but not overweight. I have my Dad’s Italian genes – very curvy/filled out and voluptuous. For a long time I thought I was fat all those years. Only recently looking at photos from then have I realized that I wasn’t.  However, I constantly heard things like, “that dress would look much better if you just lost 5 lbs” or “do you really need all that food on your plate?” Eventually, you start to believe it.  I think the main reason I gained a lot of weight in college and after is that my fat was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I believed I was fat, so I acted like I was fat, so I became fat. There were definitely other family dynamics at work, as well, which are for another post/therapy session. Suffice it to say, I didn’t feel like I could get attention any other way than by having a weight issue. I felt like I wasn’t good enough at anything to get positive attention, so my weight was my way of “acting out”, just like some kids get into drinking or drugs or sex for attention. I got into food.

This is all a VERY long introduction to my current beef with my mother. You’d think, after all these years, she’d be ecstatic that I’m finally losing weight and getting in shape. So last weekend I was telling her about my 5k, and giving her the pertinent info (when, where) and she says “Oh, that’s pretty early on a Sunday morning, I don’t think I’m going to make it.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Every time I think I’ve come around from needing her approval she proves me wrong. I can’t even begin to count the times she went somewhere at an inconvenient time for my brother’s baseball tournaments. It’s like nothing I ever do is enough. She’ll never be proud of me for just doing my best. I spent four years in therapy during college trying to come to terms with it and learning how to not require her approval to live my life. And I’ve gotten a lot better, I have a handle on it in every area but this one. I have to get over it. But I can’t.

So that’s that.

End rant.

In related news, I have an appointment with a new shrink on Monday.

Wish me luck at WI tomorrow morning!



Filed under Family, Health

T-2 Weeks!

I’m running my first 5k in exactly TWO WEEKS from today! Ahhh! I’ve run the full distance about three times now, so I know I CAN do it, I just have no idea how the variables will affect me… what if it’s pouring rain or blisteringly hot? How well will I run in an enormous pack of people? What if I’m having an “off” running day? What if my allergies flare up? I guess I just have to trust that I can run the distance and try to let everything else sort itself out. A friend of mine who has been running for a few years now (she just ran the Cherry Blossom 10-Miler!) is going to run with me, so I think having the encouragement will be good. I’m hoping to get 2 or 3 more practice 5ks in before the big day. I really have to work on weaning myself from the treadmill, too!

In OTHER news, today is weigh in day and I was down… 4.6 lbs! That’s my biggest loss since my first week on plan! I think most of it has to do with the fact that I was sick all week (two days I didn’t eat all my points) but I’ll take it! Hopefully it’ll stick. It ALSO means that I am just shy of 10 lbs from not being obese anymore! 9.9 to be exact… And even better, only 5lbs to go to weigh less than my hubby 😉

Off to have some breakfast and then go for a run! Hope everyone else is having a good Sunday. I’ll try to be better about posting this week

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Question to other fit/health bloggers…

WHEN do you all find time to blog?! By the time I work all day, go to the gym, come home make dinner and lunch for the next day… I’m so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open! I try spend a little QT with the husband and then pretty much fall into bed. I can’t fathom how those of you with kids do it, let alone keep up with a blog. I am super-impressed. I clearly need lessons in time management. Maybe there’s a chapter on that in Mary’s new e-book!

In other news, I would like to share what I saw on Tuesday morning when I stepped on the scale. Ahem. ::clearing throat::

(are you paying attention??)

I saw… THIS:

Can I get a WHAT WHAAAAT?! SEE THAT FIRST NUMBER? That’s a one. 1. o-n-e. That’s right my friends, I am officially in ONEderland! For the first time in… at least two years! And this time… I’m sticking around. Additionally, this puts me squarely within 10 lbs of my darling husband. Muah hah hah. 190, I’m COMING FOR YOU!

ALSO. On Saturday, DH and I went for a run on the track at the high school near our house. I’m using the track to wean myself off the treadmill and on to road running. It was a gorgeous morning! Slightly overcast, about 65 degrees. I decided to test out my new Nike+ (due to some technological difficulties… I do not have a graph to show you. Sad, I know. I hope to have this remedied ASAP) so I ran a lap to calibrate, and then took off, wearing my fabulous new running shoes (Asics):

Snazzy, eh? I went to Potomac River Running, recited my litany of foot/ankle issues, they watched me run on the treadmill, had me try on five or so pairs of shoes, and I walked out with these lovelies!

Anyway. Saturday. My run.

My goal was to run two miles (that was the farthest I’d run consecutively on the treadmill). Well, I got to two miles… and felt great! So I kept going! I ended up running… get this… 3.5 MILES! That is literally the farthest I have ever consecutively run, ever. In my entire life. All 28 years. It. Was. AWESOME! I was on top of the world when I finished. Granted, it wasn’t FAST. (39 minutes) But I ran the WHOLE THING! So, I am now much less concerned about finishing my 5k on May 2. And I might be contemplating a 10k in the fall. Maybe. Shhh.


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This is no April Fools joke…

I did 90 minutes of cardio today! I participated in Mary’s A Merry Workout Pledge. A few days ago, Mary posted on her blog that she would do 30 seconds of cardio for every comment that the post got. As Mary is a fabulous blogger and thus hugely popular… she got 180 comments! Then a bunch of people, myself included, said that we’d join her in her cardio quest.

SO, after work today I hit the gym, got on the treadmill, and ran/walked for the full 90 minutes, nonstop! The treadmills in my gym are apparently set to TURN OFF after 62 minutes (an hour + 2 minute cool down)… so I just turned mine right back on and did another 28 minutes! Thus explaining why I have two photos of the workout results…

For a grand total of… 5.41 miles! And 518 calories! I ran out of water about halfway through, which was probably the hardest thing to deal with. I listened to two This American Life podcasts, they always keep me distracted and entertained. For the first 45 minutes I alternated five minutes of running with two minutes of walking. After that I didn’t follow a strict regimen, but I was definitely walking more. The last 15 minutes I was really dragging… but I finished! Annnnd then I booked it to the water fountain.

Once I rehydrated, I did my strength training as well. My leg sets weren’t as good as usual, because my legs were so wobbly from all the cardio. But I did all my arm/back/chest/abs work.

Congrats to all of the other Merry Workout Pledge participants! Thinking about you guys definitely kept me moving on that treadmill!

P.S. Follow everyone’s workouts on Twitter: #amerryworkoutpledge


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Weekly round up and weigh in!

First off, a big WELCOME to all my visitors from Prior Fat Girl! Jen is such a huge inspiration for me and I’m so excited that my photo made it on her blog! I hope you’ll stick around and join me on my journey to better health.

I realize I have been absolutely abysmal at my posting this week. It was a tough week for me physically and mentally, which I will elaborate on in another post soon. However, despite my struggles, I still managed to see a -1.3 lb loss on the scale this week! That puts me at a total of 29.1 lbs down since Christmas. I’m dying to get past 30 lbs loss and into the 100s. Hopefully that motivation will keep me going this week.

Our menu this week was a big hit. On Monday we made Lentil Goat Cheese Burgers. I had mine with some garlic hummus and baby spinach on a light hamburger bun. I also made kale chips for the first time as a side! They were delish.

Later in the week we made Mexican Slow Cooked Carnitas. I absolutely LOVE carnitas, and this version was no exception. Unfortunately I failed to take a photo 😦 but you’ll have to trust me on this one, they were fabulous. I left Jason in charge of putting the pork in the slow cooker, and he ended up adding a littttle more spice than the recipe calls for, so ours were a little hot for my taste… but he loved them! Next time I plan to follow the recipe a little more closely! I also made Southwestern Black Bean Salad. Oh. My. Gosh. Next time I’m making a double batch. This stuff was heavenly. The mix of tastes and textures was perfect, and it tasted so fresh and healthy. This is definitely going to be our go-to recipe this summer for when we need to bring something to picnics or BBQs!

Now I’m off to plan our menu for this week and run some errands. I need to go to Target or TJMaxx – all my work pants are falling off me! Woohoo! But, I’m not about to spend mucho $$ on a new wardrobe, since I don’t plan on being at this weight for long! How do you handle changes in size as you go down in weight? Do you pin your oversized pants on yourself (which is what I have been doing!) Shop at consignment stores? Let me know your tricks!


Filed under Health

Nothing in particular

Nothing in particular of note going on this week. I had a great OP week and was down 2.2 at my WI this morning! That was with going out to eat two nights, as well. I’m happy that I’m able to work the plan so that I can go out and enjoy myself and still see a loss. That is very heartening.

I made overnight oats for the first time this week! They were quite yummy, but a little thin for my taste (I like my oats thick and chewy!) I used 1/2 cup oats, 1/2 cup almond milk, and 1/2 cup plain ff yogurt. In the morning I added 1/2 a banana, 1 tbsp of honey, and 1 tbsp of peanut butter. It was extremely filling. I ate it at 9ish, went for a run, ran errands and got my hair cut, and came home at 2 pm and still wasn’t hungry!

I also tried to make a smoothie this morning before yoga. That was a bit more difficult than I expected. I used frozen strawberries, frozen raspberries, frozen blueberries and frozen pineapple, 1/2 cup almond milk, 1/2 cup of water, 1 tbsp of honey, and one tbsp of chia seeds. I don’t know if we just have a crappy blender or what, but getting those frozen berries chopped up smoothly too FOREVER. I kept having to open the blender and push the chunks down towards the blades. It’s a Cuisinart, which usually makes good appliances, so I don’t know. Maybe it’s supposed to be that hard to make a smoothie?!

And YES! You did see me mention Chia seeds up there! I ordered them from Amazon and they came on Friday. Jason asked me what the “chia pet seeds” were for. Hah! I couldn’t really taste them in the smoothie, but I think that’s the point. I’m going to add them to my oats tomorrow morning.

Tonight we’re making Gina’s Spinach Lasagna Rolls. Yum! I’m so happy to have found Gina’s site. Sometimes I feel like I’ve looked through all the recipes on the WW site 1000 times already. But Gina’s recipes are all OP and consistently yummy!

Jason’s birthday is Tuesday, so his family is bringing cake over after dinner and we’re all going to watch a movie. His mom is an awesome baker, so I’ve been counting my points verrrry carefully today to be sure I can have some cake!! Next Saturday J and I are going to Baltimore for the day to check out some restaurants he’s heard about up there. By “heard about” I mean “saw on the Food Network”. Either on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives or The Best Thing I Ever Ate. Clearly it will not be the easiest day to stay OP… but the hubs only has a birthday once a year… plus he’s been an angel about eating all my WW recipes!  Between our food stops, we’re going to check out the American Visionary Art Museum, which got rave reviews from my friend Leah.

Sorry for the boring post and dearth of pictures (I’m trying to be better about taking pictures, really!) Hopefully I’ll have something more exciting to report on later in the week!

P.S. Please check out my post on little Jackson and donate if you have the ability!! On Thursday his parents/doctors decided that the best course of action is another round of chemo and then on to radiation. He is such a trooper!

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A Book a Month: February 2010

I’m doing well on goal #3… which is good, since if I was already falling behind on my book a month goal after just two months… well. There’d be a problem.

In February I read a book that I’d been looking forward to for a few years, “Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage”, by Elizabeth Gilbert. Gilbert’s first book, “Eat Pray Love” is one of my all time favorites. Cliche, I know, but it is! I love traveling and introspection and memoirs, so it hit a few sweet spots. While “Committed” picks up pretty much where “Eat Pray Love” left off, I wouldn’t call it a memoir, it’s more of a study on the Western history and assumptions about marriage. Gilbert warns the reader up front that the book is not the same as “Eat Pray Love”, so there should be no disappointment if you choose to read past the first chapter. However, while the narrative is not as compelling, Gilbert is still honest, thoughtful, and occasionally funny. It’s like having a serious conversation with an old, dear friend.

While I consider myself a feminist, I have to be honest that I didn’t give a ton of thought to getting married. I never felt that I NEEDED to get married to be a complete person or anything like that, but I also never feared (modern, Western) marriage as an oppressive institution.  I figured if I met someone I wanted to marry, I would… and I did.  “Committed” definitely made me think about the way we base all of society around this institution, and how what conservatives consider “traditional” marriage… isn’t actually all that traditional at all. Actually, it’s a relatively new innovation across the spectrum of human history. Many incarnations of marriage in the distant and not-so-distant past would be considered near heretic by most conservatives today!  Basically, society continuously recreates the definition of marriage to fit the norms and mores of the day.

If you enjoyed “Eat Pray Love”, I would recommend “Committed”. It didn’t hold my attention quite as well, but there were many interesting anecdotes and Gilbert is as good a writer as ever. Plus, you get to find out what happens between her and Felipe!

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